Over the past week, both Kaite and Nick and Kali have faced the death of girls they knew. Both girls were in their early twenties; one lost to a heinous murder, one to an overdose. You expect older people to pass on eventually, but to see a life of promise cut short is inexplicable. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.
How can I guide my kids through their grief and confusion, when it doesn’t even make sense to me, as an adult? I found myself googling things like “making sense of murder”, “dealing with the death of a young person”. I didn’t find much advice at all. I realize people who commit violent murders are insane to some degree, and that you can’t explain such acts rationally, because they aren’t rational, but there is such a feeling of impotence wrapped up in untimely death. All the articles regarding murder talk about forgiveness being healing… well, screw forgiveness… I hope they find the bastard who stabbed Amanda and rip him to shreds. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MY CHILD!
When I was younger, I was into reading all kinds of metaphysical books, and came across something that described envisioning a “bubble” of light around people you loved to keep them safe. Every night before I went to bed, I would go down the row, picturing each person I loved, surrounding them with my “bubble” to keep them safe. Bubbles around their car, their house, their bed…wherever they were. I slept better, hoping I was doing my little part in counteracting the evil of the world. Years later, I know that sometimes evil triumphs. Sometimes really horrible things happen, and I can’t keep anyone I love safe from danger, pain, or grief.
Either one of those girls could have been my child. Or yours. It makes no sense, and my heart screams for the anguish their parents are going through. I try to believe that everything happens for a reason, but there is no reason for these deaths. Sometimes the world just sucks.
Rest in peace Robyn and Amanda.
